Teen Identity

The fundamental focus of Dealing with Troubled Teens is their Identity

Teens and Gangs

Not only are teen gang members more apt to commit violent crimes, but they are also at least 60 times more likely to be killed than the general population. If your teenager is involved in a gang, take action NOW!

Gangs aren't just an inner-city problem anymore. There are known gangs in small towns and rural areas in all 50 states. While boys are more likely than girls to get involved in a gang, the percentage of female gang members is growing. The average age of gang members is 17 to 18, but there are some as young as 12! If you notice a change in your teen's behavior, dress and group of friends, do some investigative work!

Gangs tend to identify themselves by wearing the same type of clothing, colors and/or symbols. If you see your teenager with a group of friends that are all similarly attired, chances are that he or she has gotten involved in a gang. Another sign of trouble is if your son or daughter starts avoiding all of the friends that they used to spend all of their time with.

By developing positive activities for your teenager and encouraging his or her activity in a school, church, theater group, a sports team or other organized activity, you can curtail your child's need to belong to a gang.

Choosing Role Models

Role models from church groups, school and some sport teams start some good and bad identities. She may dream of looking like model, walking like a actress, dressing like the rich and famous. A clumsy boy may admire the skills of an NFL quarterback and cover the walls of his room with posters of this player. These types of role models generally don't pose a problem. However, try to see what a teenager might be trying to compensate for when their idol seems to be the polar opposite of who they are.

Take some time reassuring your daughter about how unique she is, or building up your son's confidence in his own abilities. However, you must keep an eye out for any eating disorders that may ensue. The role models that you generally have to be concerned about are those whose lifestyles aren't worthy of imitating. When your thirteen-year-old daughter starts inappropriately dressing like her pop star idol, it might be time to try to introduce other potential role models into her life. For instance, you could take her to see a world famous golfer in hopes that she'll become fascinated with her.

Most athletes can serve as good role models, especially if they live their lives with integrity. Try to subtly steer your young teens toward these positive role models. Of course, with the media and peer pressure, sometimes it seems like you're fighting a losing battle. Quite often, kids will choose role models just to irritate you, so if you make too big a deal out of it, they're likely to gravitate toward their idol even more. As with all aspects of raising teenagers, you have to remember to choose your battles! After all, even though they won't admit it, most teens' favorite role model isn't the one whose picture is plastered all over their rooms; it's actually one of their parents.

If parents knew their teen, what motivates them and what turned them into rebellion would this not be very important? Struggling teens need access to behavioral modifcations to persuade and put them in a position to succeed. Teens need to feel connected, have confidence and real autonomy.